REGOLITH SAND & GRAVEL

Don was sick of the article he was writing about a police detective in SoHo who shot a kid in the chest for stealing a woman’s handbag. It was a sob piece about the plight of the young people forced to rob from old ladies and get shot in the chest. He ripped the page out of the typewriter and slid it under Carrie. He got a beer from the cooler by Huxley’s desk.

“Hey Donny,” Huxley said.

“Hey, Hux.”

“What do you think of this?” Huxley was the regional editor. He handed Don a short, 150 word article.

GOT TEN BUCKS? WANNA BUY AN ISLAND?
City sells island to private firm for $10

How much does an island go for these days? The City Commission of Parks and Public Lands announced yesterday the sale of South Brother Island to Regolith Sand & Gravel of Long Island for the hefty fee of ten dollars. The seven acre plot of land has been vacant for seventy years. There are no buildings, no dock and no way of getting to the island. Councilman James Burke (D-Bronx) sponsored the sale. “We need to clear out unnecessary expenses, considering the current fiscal crisis,” Burke said in defense of the sale. “This was the best offer.” The sale was not without its controversy. The bill to approve the sale passed the Council by one vote. Councilman Alvin Parks (D-Staten Island) called the sale “fishy.” Mayor Beame approved the deal, though his office declined comment. Burke said there were no other islands for sale in that price range. “It’s a unique situation. The Indians sold Manhattan for $24 but that was a long time ago.”

“I know,” Huxley said, “it’s a little wonky.”

“Is this true?” Don asked.

“What? That Manhattan was sold for $24? Did you go to grade school?”

“They sold an island for $10?”

“Don, this is C8 we’re talking about. You’re not aloud to sound so interested.”

“That doesn’t seem like a big deal?”

“Sure. So what? A dog also saved a kitten from a fire. It’s strange and yet it’s also true.”

“Who wrote this?”

“Brian Callahan.”

“Who did he talk to?”

“God, Don, he just made some phone calls. What’s your problem?”

“This is a story!” Don said. “Ten dollars for an island? In New York City!? What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Well, I only have 150 words for it. As it is it’s 15 over. If you want it, talk to Morris.”

“Ten dollars for an island!? Holy crap!” Morris said. “If my hat wasn’t bolted to my head it would be flying off. Leave my office now.”

“Doesn’t sound like graft to you?”

“Graft isn’t news. News should be new.”

“How much do you think that island’s really worth?”

“I have no idea. It doesn’t matter. It could be worth a million dollars, I wouldn’t care.”

“Let’s say it’s worth $2 million –”

“I just said I wouldn’t care.”

“You said $1 million.”

“Same difference.”

“It’s twice as much.”

“It’s still in the ‘million’ family.”

“What does ‘same difference’ mean?”

“Don, I want to read about kids being beaten by cops and serial killers raping homeless women. This is financial government mis-dealings. My wiener just collapsed.”

“This could be our Watergate.”

“You’re not Bob Woodward. This isn’t The Washington Post. And I sure as fuck ain’t Ben Bradlee. Do you understand? Even if Mayor Beame breaks into the Republican Party offices and tape records himself telling people to do it, I STILL wouldn’t care. If Mayor Beame fucks and kills a homeless vagrant, that’ll be our Watergate.”